Friday, October 31, 2014

New Light (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 31

At the end of a journey
Just to start a new
The things I've learned
Can be summed up in few

Patience, creativity, and perseverance 
Things I need to be a better me
Who knew it would come from writing?
Who knew a challenge would be the key?

The wheels started moving
They cranked and they turned
For 31 days 
I let my mind burn

But in the best way possible
Because I found a new light
Some great new ideas
That I'll work on at night

So until next year
I have to get back to work
Share some new inspiration
And enjoy all the perks 

Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Day Before (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 30

It was the day before and only if I'd known
That it was the day before my disaster
How funny it is when everything seems normal
Then all of a sudden your whole life changes
We're never really prepared for the day that alters us
That way, we can't hold our breath
Or stand our ground
But it was the day before
And God! It it took me down!

There was fire and brimstone
And coal and smoke
I tried to hold my nose but it wasn't enough
This day was written in my destiny 
To make me who I am
And I wouldn't take it back
Because I would forfeit it all
It was the day before
And I wasn't ready for that fall!

But goodness gracious I'm glad that I tumbled
Because here I am to tell about it
And I can say it all was worth it
I needed to fall
I needed to stumble 
Disaster saved my life
And I am still here because of that moment
Thanks to the day before
For being my worst component


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

This Love (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 29

I'm definitely unsure
You're positively immature
And I don't see how this is going to mix
Plus, there's not much we can fix
You're a red light and I'm passing go
I'm a free flight and you're...I don't know
But somehow this love is real
When it probably should be sealed
We're dysfunctional 
Yet untouchable
But we wouldn't give it up for the world
I'll choose you as my your girl
But this can't be good for our health
But what do I do when you're worth my wealth?
Maybe that means I don't have much
But I still love the feel of your touch
This love sometimes may suck
But this love is us


Starving Hunger (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 28

I got drunk off failure
Hungover by life
But after coming face to face with porcelain
My stomach's clear
And I'm hungry for more
Life has handed me dirty cards
But I wiped them clean to start over
My gut is growling for triumph
My heart is beating for success
It's time for me to get out of this mess
I'm hungry for victory
I'm hungry for happiness
I'm hungry for life

Monday, October 27, 2014

Beta Waves (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 27

Closing my eyes is my favorite thing to do
It's not that I'm lazy but I get to dream about you
If only I could still hold you near
This pain in my heart would disappear
You're only present in my wildest dreams
We're alive in a world where nothing is what it seems

I never knew that sleep could be so satisfying
The peace, the freedom is almost like I'm dying
But it happens in the best way that could exist
Because I get to see the one that I miss
Every night I get to smile
I get the chance to talk to you for a while

In reality, you're not even here with me
But that doesn't matter in my dreams
That's why being asleep is better than being awake
Touching things only my beta waves can create
I don't care if I only love a fantasy
I don't care if it contributes to my abnormality 

Because I'm happy that you're right in front of me
Even if I'm the only one who can see
I'm okay with living in a lie
As long as we never have to say goodbye
I can't let you go ever again
I don't think this heart would ever mend

Sunday, October 26, 2014

70VE (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 26

I stare at the long dark hallway
Hoping a light will show up
I swallow hard
Clench my fists
And feel the sweat form on my face
One step after another I slowly go
For a second I close my eyes tightly 
Hoping this is the right choice
I try to be mindful of my surroundings 
But there's nothing to see
I'm all alone
With goosebumps on my skin
I'm more than halfway there
But I want to turn around
What's waiting for me?
I see a light just at the end
I stop before I step into the brightness
What if it's not there?
Take a deep breath...exhale
I walk into the light
A smile spreads across my face
Love was waiting for me all along

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Magic (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 25

Spells, chants, and crystal balls
None of them worked, I tried them all
But you still haven't come back to me

I called on magic
I held my faith
But it's all so tragic
When hope has been erased 

The angels said be patient
The voices said be kind
But how can I remain
When you still aren't mine

So I went to the psychic 
But her answer, I didn't like it
She said to weigh my options
Then mixed me up a strange concoction 

She added indifference with a bit of cynicism 
She told me to take a sip and I'll be released from this prison

And here I am completely over you
Now I believe in magic
There's nothing I can't do

Friday, October 24, 2014

Starting Over:Theme From RED

"That's your only way out...wrecking who you once were and rebuilding yourself from scratch."-Mason Taylor (RED)

Starting over is hard but sometimes it's the only option we have. The only thing harder than starting over is staying where we are because it eventually will tear us to shreds. Last week I spoke about forgiveness and how important it is to forgive others and yourself. Well, after you forgive you need to learn to move on because that doesn't happen on its own. Starting over is another major theme from my upcoming novel, RED and it's a topic that needs to be discussed almost everyday. Each moment that goes by consists of someone trying to hit the reset button. 

The characters in RED are both beautiful and flawed. This is what makes them so realistic. The main character, Peyton is on a journey to find herself and make a better life. She hits tons of bumps in the road (some she caused, others not so much) and there comes a time in the book where she needs help with becoming someone new. When asking Mason what should she do, he gives her the quote above. This is one of my favorite quotes from the book because it's some of the greatest advice anyone can give. We can't get out of our situations if we're not willing o wreck a few things.

Wrecking things may mean killing your bad habits, letting some people go, or moving to a different zip code. At some point we all have to wreck ourselves or the things around us in order to truly let go. There's no such thing as truly starting over unless you wreck something. You can't build a new home without tearing something down.

It may seem counterintuitive to talk about destroying something if you want to start fresh with a clean slate but sometimes you have to get messy before you can clean up. This is something Peyton, Adalyn, and Mason have to learn for themselves. All three characters are caught in very different situations but they all must learn the same lesson. It's a lot like life. we all have different journeys and issues but most of the time we're all learning the same lessons. Life has a funny way of teaching that way. 

After you're completely wrecked the only other option you have is to start over and rebuild. It's almost like hitting rock bottom; the only place you have left to go is up. This is why the wrecking phase is so important. You can't build over a cracked is no different. 

Take Mason's advice and call the construction crew; tell them to bring the wrecking ball because you need to start over. Once the walls are down and the debris is clear, start cleaning up and rebuilding. Once you begin to start over you'll learn to find yourself. You can't truly find out who you are with years old mess surrounding you. You know what? Finding yourself sounds like a great topic for next week! 

In the meantime, here's a song all about feeling stuck and trying to start over:

typography life startingover Quotes

Ink (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 24

Wipe it clean
Put the needle to my skin
Ink it exactly how I want it
It started with one
Then two and three
Before I knew it I hit number four
Now I'm contemplating what's next
What do I want for number five
Let's make this fun
Make it something memorable
New Ink for a different place
Travel the world and make it permanent
 Every memory sticks to my skin forever
They all tell a story
They all have a meaning
Favorite band, biggest dreams, aspirations
It keeps me grounded
Keeps my head straight
Ink is my guilty pleasure 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Cement (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 23

What's next?
Where do I go from here?
Now that it's over
Where should I appear?
I feel like I have no place
All this time and not enough space
That part of my journey is over
I passed the test
But what do I do with all the rest?
Life doesn't give you instructons
No manual or handbook
But I need to know where I should look
Because now I feel lost
In the middle of nowhere
I'm not even sure if I should even care
I took the risks
Came out on top
So why am I here at the bottom of the rock?
So many familiar faces
Lets me know that I don't belong here
I did what I was supposed to do
So why am I not up there?
It wasn't enough and no one ever told me
And now I'm stuck, not where I should be
Cemented into failure
Like it's my new name
Hard work is optional
It's all about the game
Who knows who
Who came from where
I guess that's the reason why I'm not up there
Years of doing the very right thing
Showed me the pain life can bring
So put my face in wet cement
I'll hold my breath and let it dry
Let it freeze the tears that I cry
Because I'm ready to move onto something more
What should I do?
I'm really not sure
So I'll lie in here in cement
Give me a while
I'll tell you how it went 


Push Play (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 22

Push play
Ready, set, go
I'm not really ready
But how else will I know? 
My mind is set
Got to keep the race steady
Have to take what I can get
Because no one will let me

Fast foward
To show me that this is worth it all
Give me something to hold on to
When I stumble and fall
Because there are no rewinds
No places for do overs
Even if I'm not ready, this is my time

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

We're Here (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 21

Time passes and photos fade
But the memories are still there
None of us are still the same
But that one thing brings us here

Every year that goes by
We're reminded of the things that make us
No matter how much time flies
Or how many dawns turn into dusk

I plan on leaving my mark
On the concrete, in the sand
Because I was given a spark
Try and take it if you can

My fingerprints will be legendary
The sound of my voice is iconic
Remember my name, it'll be necessary
It'll echo with waves of sonic

So here we are at the same place
Searching for the same things
We all want them to remember our face
But we have no idea what life brings

I just know that someday they'll say, "she was here"


Monday, October 20, 2014

"Society" (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 20

Waiting to hear the words that I want
Is almost like slowly sticking glass in your eyes
With every twitch and scream
I wait for the pain to subside 
But if you speak what I can't bear to hear
I wouldn't know where to take it from there
Because I waited for this too long
I don't know how much longer I can be strong

All good things come to those who wait
But I waited too long for you to determine my fate
I'm just a piece in your game board
What can I really do?
I want to speak out in fury
But I know that won't get the best of you
Because you control this cruel world
And I'm only just a girl

I have a dream and a pen
And I intend to use it
I have a voice and a sound
But I'm not sure if I'm fit
Because there are all these rules I'm supposed to follow
But in truth, I feel like I'm being swallowed
Being digested in a world of lies
Stuck in a place where everyone wears buttons for eyes

If I'm like me I can't make it
I wasn't made with the right ingredients
My formula didn't contain the right contents
I look how I look
I am what I am
But I'm doing the best that I can
All of this thinking gives me anxiety
Living in a place we call a "society"

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Come Inside (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 19

Come on inside
 It's pouring out
Where it's safe and warm
From that quiet storm
Where you don't have to worry
And no one's in a hurry
Just come inside to me
The sky is dark
The clouds are gray
Just step in for a while and stay
There's no need for words
For the day, let's be flightless birds
We don't have to go anywhere
Just come inside to me
Don't look out the window
The winds are roaring
And the raindrops are pouring
Stay with me a while
Don't send me down the lonely aisle
I promise you'll be fine right here
Just come inside to me
When the rain stops
The rainbow will show
Even after that promise me you won't go
Because the rain was an excuse to get you here
And I'm not willing to let you disappear
When you enter don't ever leave
Just come inside

Saturday, October 18, 2014

How To Lose (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 18

We tend to think we know someone
And then they go and surprise us
But I'm also not stupid
And I know about loss
How to lose
When it's already gone
When it's slipping away
So don't tell me I'm imagining things
You say you want it back to the way we were
But we both know it's not possible
You did too much
I did too little
There's not enough to hold on to
But you don't want to let go
And last night I found someone
Because for the past few months you have too
And now you're sorry
But I know about loss
How to lose
When it's already gone
When it's slipping away
And you're already through my fingers...

I gained inspiration from page 127 of my first novel, A Tragic Heart. On this page my main character is going back to the life she thought she wanted only to realize that it's already lost and there's not much else she and her partner can do to salvage it. Sometimes it isn't worth it. Instead of choosing select words I found inspiration from the entire page. Here's a picture of the page:

Friday, October 17, 2014

Press Stardom (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 17

It's like everything we do is for everyone to see
We might as well just film it and make a movie
Put it in the cinemas in 2D and 3D
Because we can't get a moment of peace

They're like paparazzi gaping through the cracks of our home
Even with the lights off we're never fully alone
 So we put on our shiny smiles made out of chrome
And pull out the stitches when no one's looking, that was tightly sewn

Only because we're not allowed to crack
We can't take that chance unless they turn their backs
Why won't they all just go away, take their bags and pack?
Maybe then we can continue where we left, get back on track

Camera smiles and red carpet attire
Come on baby, let's sell it to the highest buyer
We made it this far, straight through the wire
Don't let them know we're burning in the fire

Because there's nothing more that they'll love than a juicy story
Let's make this look good no matter how messy and gory
Because pain is how they get their glory
Don't let us become their latest quarry

I got the inspiration for this poem through a random words generator that gave me the words "press" and "stardom". It seemed perfect since I'm also obsessed with Pop Culture.