Split Your Heart, Not Your Tongue

At the end of a journey Just to start a new The things I've learned Can be summed up in few Patience, creativity, and perseverance  Things I need to be a better me Who knew it would come from writing? Who knew a challenge would be the key? The wheels started moving They cranked and they turned For 31 days  I let my mind burn But in the best way possible Because I found a new light Some great new ideas That I'll work on at night So until next year I have to get back to work Share some new inspiration And enjoy all the perks 

It was the day before and only if I'd known That it was the day before my disaster How funny it is when everything seems normal Then all of a sudden your whole life changes We're never really prepared for the day that alters us That way, we can't hold our breath Or stand our ground But it was the day before And God! It it took me down! There was fire and brimstone And coal and smoke I tried to hold my nose but it wasn't enough This day was written in my destiny  To make me who I am And I wouldn't take it back Because I would forfeit it all It was the day before And I wasn't ready for that fall! But goodness gracious I'm glad that I tumbled Because here I am to tell about it And I can say it all was worth it I needed to fall I needed to stumble  Disaster saved my life And I am still here because of that moment Thanks to the day before For being my worst component    

I'm definitely unsure You're positively immature And I don't see how this is going to mix Plus, there's not much we can fix You're a red light and I'm passing go I'm a free flight and you're...I don't know But somehow this love is real When it probably should be sealed We're dysfunctional  Yet untouchable But we wouldn't give it up for the world I'll choose you as my guy...me your girl But this can't be good for our health But what do I do when you're worth my wealth? Maybe that means I don't have much But I still love the feel of your touch This love sometimes may suck But this love is us    

I got drunk off failure Hungover by life But after coming face to face with porcelain My stomach's clear And I'm hungry for more Life has handed me dirty cards But I wiped them clean to start over My gut is growling for triumph My heart is beating for success It's time for me to get out of this mess I'm hungry for victory I'm hungry for happiness I'm hungry for life  

Closing my eyes is my favorite thing to do It's not that I'm lazy but I get to dream about you If only I could still hold you near This pain in my heart would disappear You're only present in my wildest dreams We're alive in a world where nothing is what it seems I never knew that sleep could be so satisfying The peace, the freedom is almost like I'm dying But it happens in the best way that could exist Because I get to see the one that I miss Every night I get to smile I get the chance to talk to you for a while In reality, you're not even here with me But that doesn't matter in my dreams That's why being asleep is better than being awake Touching things only my beta waves can create I don't care if I only love a fantasy I don't care if it contributes to my abnormality  Because I'm happy that you're right in front of me Even if I'm the only one who can see I'm okay with living in a l

I stare at the long dark hallway Hoping a light will show up I swallow hard Clench my fists And feel the sweat form on my face One step after another I slowly go For a second I close my eyes tightly  Hoping this is the right choice I try to be mindful of my surroundings  But there's nothing to see I'm all alone With goosebumps on my skin I'm more than halfway there But I want to turn around What's waiting for me? I see a light just at the end I stop before I step into the brightness What if it's not there? Take a deep breath...exhale I walk into the light A smile spreads across my face Love was waiting for me all along

Spells, chants, and crystal balls None of them worked, I tried them all But you still haven't come back to me I called on magic I held my faith But it's all so tragic When hope has been erased  The angels said be patient The voices said be kind But how can I remain When you still aren't mine So I went to the psychic  But her answer, I didn't like it She said to weigh my options Then mixed me up a strange concoction  She added indifference with a bit of cynicism  She told me to take a sip and I'll be released from this prison And here I am completely over you Now I believe in magic There's nothing I can't do

"That's your only way out... wrecking who you once were and rebuilding yourself from scratch."-Mason Taylor ( RED ) Starting over is hard but sometimes it's the only option we have. The only thing harder than starting over is staying where we are because it eventually will tear us to shreds. Last week I spoke about forgiveness and how important it is to forgive others and yourself. Well, after you forgive you need to learn to move on because that doesn't happen on its own. Starting over is another major theme from my upcoming novel, RED and it's a topic that needs to be discussed almost everyday. Each moment that goes by consists of someone trying to hit the reset button.  The characters in RED are both beautiful and flawed. This is what makes them so realistic. The main character, Peyton is on a journey to find herself and make a better life. She hits tons of bumps in the road (some she caused, others not so much) and there comes a time in the bo

Wipe it clean Put the needle to my skin Ink it exactly how I want it It started with one Then two and three Before I knew it I hit number four Now I'm contemplating what's next What do I want for number five Let's make this fun Make it something memorable New Ink for a different place Travel the world and make it permanent  Every memory sticks to my skin forever They all tell a story They all have a meaning Favorite band, biggest dreams, aspirations It keeps me grounded Keeps my head straight Ink is my guilty pleasure 

What's next? Where do I go from here? Now that it's over Where should I appear? I feel like I have no place All this time and not enough space That part of my journey is over I passed the test But what do I do with all the rest? Life doesn't give you instructons No manual or handbook But I need to know where I should look Because now I feel lost In the middle of nowhere I'm not even sure if I should even care I took the risks Came out on top So why am I here at the bottom of the rock? So many familiar faces Lets me know that I don't belong here I did what I was supposed to do So why am I not up there? It wasn't enough and no one ever told me And now I'm stuck, not where I should be Cemented into failure Like it's my new name Hard work is optional It's all about the game Who knows who Who came from where I guess that's the reason why I'm not up there Years of doing the very right t

Push play Ready, set, go I'm not really ready But how else will I know?  My mind is set Got to keep the race steady Have to take what I can get Because no one will let me Fast foward To show me that this is worth it all Give me something to hold on to When I stumble and fall Because there are no rewinds No places for do overs Even if I'm not ready, this is my time

Time passes and photos fade But the memories are still there None of us are still the same But that one thing brings us here Every year that goes by We're reminded of the things that make us No matter how much time flies Or how many dawns turn into dusk I plan on leaving my mark On the concrete, in the sand Because I was given a spark Try and take it if you can My fingerprints will be legendary The sound of my voice is iconic Remember my name, it'll be necessary It'll echo with waves of sonic So here we are at the same place Searching for the same things We all want them to remember our face But we have no idea what life brings I just know that someday they'll say, "she was here"  

Waiting to hear the words that I want Is almost like slowly sticking glass in your eyes With every twitch and scream I wait for the pain to subside  But if you speak what I can't bear to hear I wouldn't know where to take it from there Because I waited for this too long I don't know how much longer I can be strong All good things come to those who wait But I waited too long for you to determine my fate I'm just a piece in your game board What can I really do? I want to speak out in fury But I know that won't get the best of you Because you control this cruel world And I'm only just a girl I have a dream and a pen And I intend to use it I have a voice and a sound But I'm not sure if I'm fit Because there are all these rules I'm supposed to follow But in truth, I feel like I'm being swallowed Being digested in a world of lies Stuck in a place where everyone wears buttons for eyes If I'm like me I can't make it I wasn't made with the rig

Come on inside  It's pouring out Where it's safe and warm From that quiet storm Where you don't have to worry And no one's in a hurry Just come inside to me   The sky is dark The clouds are gray Just step in for a while and stay There's no need for words For the day, let's be flightless birds We don't have to go anywhere Just come inside to me   Don't look out the window The winds are roaring And the raindrops are pouring Stay with me a while Don't send me down the lonely aisle I promise you'll be fine right here Just come inside to me   When the rain stops The rainbow will show Even after that promise me you won't go Because the rain was an excuse to get you here And I'm not willing to let you disappear When you enter don't ever leave Just come inside    

We tend to think we know someone And then they go and surprise us But I'm also not stupid And I know about loss How to lose When it's already gone When it's slipping away So don't tell me I'm imagining things You say you want it back to the way we were But we both know it's not possible You did too much I did too little There's not enough to hold on to But you don't want to let go And last night I found someone Because for the past few months you have too And now you're sorry But I know about loss How to lose When it's already gone When it's slipping away And you're already through my fingers... I gained inspiration from page 127 of my first novel, A Tragic Heart. On this page my main character is going back to the life she thought she wanted only to realize that it's already lost and there's not much else she and her partner can do to salvage it. Sometimes it isn't worth it. Inst

It's like everything we do is for everyone to see We might as well just film it and make a movie Put it in the cinemas in 2D and 3D Because we can't get a moment of peace They're like paparazzi gaping through the cracks of our home Even with the lights off we're never fully alone  So we put on our shiny smiles made out of chrome And pull out the stitches when no one's looking, that was tightly sewn Only because we're not allowed to crack We can't take that chance unless they turn their backs Why won't they all just go away, take their bags and pack? Maybe then we can continue where we left, get back on track Camera smiles and red carpet attire Come on baby, let's sell it to the highest buyer We made it this far, straight through the wire Don't let them know we're burning in the fire Because there's nothing more that they'll love than a juicy story Let's make this look good no matter how m