Thursday, November 20, 2014

When Is Cheating A Good Idea?: Theme From RED

"Just remember that secrets are the foundation of a long relationship."-Alex Kinsley (RED)

Possibly the last theme I want to talk about from RED is the factor of cheating. Now, this theme doesn't tie into the others, it's more of a standalone but it's a MAJOR theme in the novel. There's cheating in every possible form all over the place from beginning to end (basically). Everyone has secrets and unacknowledged feelings that they have to deal with; just like real life it begins to affect their relationships with the people around them.

In some cases, cheating may seem like a good idea or the only option in order to be happy with someone (A Tragic Heart has a perfect example of this) but in reality it should never be an option. We think we find the one for us and then suddenly things take an ugly turn and we find ourselves in the arms of another. The worst part is that we tend to try and justify it. To tell you the truth, our justifications make sense a lot of the times but the truth is, cheating is always wrong. You're better off getting out of the relationship completely if you feel the need to go that far. Peyton experiences this a lot in RED.

"Alex is the debris that fills your lungs without you noticing until it's too late; he's the cancer in cigarettes, the side effects to painkillers. Ronan is crystal clear, he's the warmth you feel after coming inside from being in twenty degree weather, he's the answer to every riddle, he's the one...but for some reason I like to mix clarity with confusion. I like to mix my Ronan with a little bit of Alex."-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)

The quote above is the perfect example of what we think to ourselves when we know we're making a bad decision with someone while we're committed to another. We start to make charts and Vinn diagrams of pros and cons only to go ahead with our bad idea anyway. When you're stuck in a position like this it's easy to feel like you need both. Both give you something that you want and something that you feel like you need. You sometimes feel like you love both equally which makes you greedy and selfish. We tend to forget that we are hurting someone while we're indulging in another. In fact, we're probably hurting three people: the one your committed to, your lover on the side, and yourself. 

Cheating isn't always cheating on someone else, it's cheating on yourself. The characters in RED quickly learn that when they suffer for their actions and pay the consequences. Another thing they learn is that a person doesn't have to be physically there in order to have an affair. Mason has a hard time grasping that concept throughout the novel. Sometimes we aren't in physical relationships with another person but mentally and emotionally we are completely spoken for. 

"You can deny it all you want but the truth is the truth and it has an ugly way of coming out."-Alex Kinsley (RED)

When we engage ourselves with someone other than our significant other we tend to place ourselves in somewhere denial lives. What we're doing isn't that bad, the other person doesn't do things the way they used to, I'm not in love with this new person so it doesn't mean that much...the denial is never ending unless we confront it. One thing we can be certain of is that the truth will always come out somehow. It may take a while but it will reveal itself and it's usually in the most unattractive way possible. That's when the old saying, "you made your bed now lie in" comes into play.  This is one position you don't want to be in.

Hopefully after reading RED, you all will be able to make decisions with a clearer head. Hopefully cheating is a decision you decide not to make at all. If you're thinking about it, just wait until RED comes out and see how it works out for them...

Cheating isn't as upbeat and enjoyable as this song but you should take a listen anyway...



 

 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Love Who You Are: Theme From RED

"I guess in the end if you have to try that hard, it's no longer natural."-Mason Taylor (RED)

For the last lesson/theme from RED, I'll talk about loving who you are. After traveling along the hard and frustrating journey to get to this point, the only option you really have is to love who you are. Once you made your mistakes and learned from them, dropped your ego, learned to forgive, started over, found yourself, been judged and learned to stop judging, now it's time to love the person you worked so hard to become. 

After a while being who you once were no longer feels like a natural thing. You'll find yourself trying to fit in with others but something will always feel a little off about it. That's because you are someone new and it's time for you to embrace that someone. In RED, it takes a while for my characters to learn this but this is also a factor that doesn't happen overnight in reality. We're all a work in progress. When they came up with that overused and cliche of a quote, "the best/easiest person to be is yourself" they weren't lying. It's the only way to know who your true friends are and where you really belong in life. There comes a time when faking it just won't cut it anymore. You have to be real/true to yourself before you can be true to anyone else. 

"Acceptance is all it takes to be free."-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)

Fully accepting yourself is what loving who you are is all about. It doesn't mean that you'll always agree with the choices you make and you'll never regret a thing again, it just means that you are comfortable with who you are and you don't mind allowing people to get to know you just as you are. We're all imperfect but what Peyton says is true, "we are worthy". Imperfections does not equal being worthless. No one will ever be perfect but we can sure as hell love ourselves the way no one else will. We at least owe ourselves that after all that we've been through on that long, cold journey we had to take alone. If you don't love yourself by then, you probably never will. 

So, after battling through the storm and climbing mountains no one ever knew was even in your way, embrace yourself. Love who you've become because you worked hard enough to get there. No one deserves your love more than you! Just ask Peyton, Ronan, Adalyn, Mason, and Jackson after RED comes out this Winter! We're almost there... 

In the meantime here's a song about loving who you are:

 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Girls, Boys, & Boundaries: Is There A Double Standard?

Here is my new post for I AM THAT GIRL! It's all about the double standards placed on men and women when it comes to being violated physically and verbally. Take a look at it and let me know what you think. Don't forget to click the "like" button for Facebook at the end of the article. The link is below:

http://t.co/KgjMh9zZtY

Friday, November 7, 2014

Judgment:Theme From RED

"We can't be judged. We can't be told we're not good enough because of our past. After all, we're all red on the inside..."-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)


The theme I chose from last week was finding yourself and this week I'll take off from there. While finding yourself you're going to come across a lot of people who will have their own opinions about you and most of the time these opinions will come off as judgmental. For some reason, when we're in the process of changing people like to point out your past and the things/mistakes you used to do. It's like a constant reminder of who you used to be but the thing to remember is that, that's not important anymore. What's important is that you're moving on and trying to become the person you deserve to be.

In RED, Peyton does a lot of things that every one of you will judge her for. You will yell at her in your heads and call her various names throughout the book...and I can't say that I blame you because Peyton is a very frustrating character to deal with. The thing to remember is that she's supposed to be human and a little troubled. If there is anyone to tell a story about where the main character must find herself and start over, it's Peyton. 

In life, we're going to do a lot of questionable things and make tons of less than desirable decisions but in the end no one has the real right to judge us. Our past is the past and that is where it should stay. Whenever someone tries to comment on your "new" behavior and try and classify it as being "fake" just ignore them and focus on the new you. Guarantee, there will always be someone out there questioning your motives and trying to pull you back into who you used to be. Cut them off. They're no good for you or your process to grow and find who you are. 

While you're growing, you must also remember to not knock anyone else down if they're still stuck where you once were. Everyone has a different process and some people take longer to come around (if they ever do!). This still doesn't give you a right to judge. One of the hardest things is trying to change. It seems like it's almost impossible so kicking someone when they're already down won't do any good either. We're all just human so don't judge.

During RED, you will notice that almost every character has something about them that's easy to judge them on. They all have their vices just like we do. Some are drug related, some are lust related, and others may seem difficult to even categorize but that's not the point. We all have a weakness or two and none of us like to be judged for it. In fact, we spend most of our time hiding it from people. 

So while you're moving on and trying to find yourself remember to not listen to those trying to judge you and don't judge anyone else during your process. They're no better than you are and you're no better than them. So, go ahead, make your mistakes, drop your ego, start over, forgive yourself and others, find yourself, and don't worry about judgment. The whole point of this journey is to love who you are...hey, that sounds like an awesome topic for next week! 

Until next week, let's listen to a song all about judging...




Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Let's Get Clean

As most of the world, I've been listening to Taylor Swift's new album, 1989 for the past week and I've chosen a favorite song, Clean. The lyrics itself are cutting and the music just makes it straight mesmerizing. I know she's talking about getting clean from the mess of a past relationship but I couldn't help but compare it to life and past disappointments. The only issue is that I'm not even close to getting clean but I would like to.

The lyrics, "Rain came pouring down/When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe." I feel like I need to drown so I can learn to breathe again. That's when I start to wonder how many other people actually feel that way too. Life has a way of stealing your dreams, doesn't it?

Suffering rejection after rejection and loss after loss, you start t lose it all and feel lost yourself. It's like a punch in the chest every time I hear Taylor sing, "Hung my head as I lost the war/And the sky turned black like a perfect storm." I just love the way her voice cracks towards the end of her statement. Speaking of getting punched in the chest, the other stand out line in this track is, "The water filled my lungs/I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing." I can't even remember all the times that happened within the past few months.

You know that feeling when it seems like you have no more options left and you're unsure what else to do because everything you've ever learned or know no longer works with your current situation? You would give almost anything for a fresh start and to learn how to do it all again but the only problem is you don't know where to start or how. One thing I definitely agree with Taylor on is when she says, "The drought was the very worst." Yes, it is.

She follows that line with, "...When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst." Again, this is meant to be aimed towards a failed relationship but how many of you feel like you've spent so much time growing flowers, better yet an entire garden only to see it all die of thirst before your eyes? I think I'll be the first one to raise my hand for that one.

The song has a sad and hopeless feel to it yet there's a sound of freedom that comes through strong. It's a song about broken freedom yet being completely whole in your brokenness. Maybe that's what true freedom looks like: a little broken, a little hopeful, and a tad bit hopeless yet everything is perfectly fine. I'm guessing Taylor didn't actually mean that she could finally breathe while she was drowning but she woke up and realized things she never noticed before. Maybe drowning can be a good thing after all.




Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Character Profile For RED: Alex Kinsley

November's here! That means I have a new character profile for you all. This is another new character who is extremely important to the novel. He's sort of the antagonist and he's responsible for a lot of the trouble that happens. The book wouldn't be complete without him. He's a ladies man and a bad boy which are two lethal combinations. He gets his own POV here and there and RED wouldn't be so bright without him. Allow me to introduce you all to...


Alex Kinsley
Full Name: Alex Kinsley

Birth Date: June 28, 2002

Gender: Male

Age During RED: 24-26

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Jet Black

Height: 5'10

Weight: 165 lbs

Relatives: Unknown as a result of Alex being disowned by his family.

Relationship Status: Kind of single, always ready to mingle!

Interests/Hobbies: Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll! He's also the drummer in a famous band
Positive Character Traits: He's a great lover and an amazing drummer/songwriter. 

Negative Character Traits: He's not a one woman kind of guy. He doesn't know how to love even when he feels it. Alex isn't known for making the best decisions and he's pretty stubborn. He likes to party and his reputation isn't the greatest in the tabloids...yet women love him!

Choice Quote From RED: "We have opened Pandora's Box and all of the sin of the world exploded within us...I've never felt so alive."

That's all for this month! Alex is a really interesting character that you will both love and really hate. He brings the book on a lot of roller coaster rides and I can't wait for you all to get to know him better. For now, I hope you all have a better idea of who he is. Remember, RED is the second part to A Tragic Heart and the second book in my RED TRAGEDIES series. You still have time to catch up before the release of RED!

By the way, if Alex was a song he'd be "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" by Marilyn Manson. 



Sunday, November 2, 2014

Lonely, Stupid Girl

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
He'll never love you the way you love him
He'll never get that gleam in his eye
And he'll never be excited to see you the way you want

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
You're too dumb to notice
Too lonely to care
But he'll never understand what you feel

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
He'll always tell you, you think too much
Because his mind doesn't hold the capacity yours does
It just isn't the same for him

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
Walk away and love someone new
Someone who will love you the way you give love
Someone who will understand that light that turns on every time you see them

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
Life is unfair and so is love
He's too blinded by his actions to understand how you feel
You have love too big for him to grasp

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
Take this letter as a word of advice
You deserve better
You have a heart too big for him to feel

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
He'll beg you to stay but please walk away
You don't deserve to feel trapped
There's someone out there wanting to set you free

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
You shouldn't feel embarrassed for your love
If only more people loved the way you do...
If only he did...

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
It's okay to cry at midnight on the couch alone
It's happened to the best of us
Your love is just too much for some but they don't deserve it

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
Wipe your face clean and breathe in deep
He'll ask you what's wrong but he'll never understand
Because boys like him don't see what they have
They don't get they have what they don't deserve

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
You're better than him
He knows it but he plays on your weaknesses
Walk away...please

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
Stop showing you care so much
Take your heart from your sleeve and put it in your pocket
Don't ever let him see it or have it

Dear Lonely, Stupid Girl
Always love the way you do
Because someone will notice
And want to love you the same
And he'll be watching that same flat screen TV all alone...with no one to come to after




Saturday, November 1, 2014

Finding Yourself:Theme From RED

"I somehow managed to play the protagonist and the antagonist in this story"-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)

Last week I wrote about starting over after you already made those messy mistakes, dropped your ego and learned to forgive yourself and others. This week I want to talk about another major theme from RED: finding yourself. 

When you focus on starting over you have to also focus on finding yourself. After being dragged through the mud and experiencing disappointment after disappointment, you have to hit the restart button. Restarting also means that things are going to have to change. In the process of us being dragged by our hair while our face scraps against the cement we become someone different. We just have to find out who this person is. 

Finding yourself is critical in the process of starting over. If we don't gain a clear vision of who we are we'll just falter into another mess (and who wants that?). Not knowing who you are usually results in you falling for anything. Knowing who you are (and who you used to be) will help you stand firm in your beliefs, values, and follow the path ahead of you will little slip ups. 

In RED, Peyton is on a journey to find out who she is after never getting the chance to truly know her parents. All she has is her mother's journals and writings she kept on a flash drive to refer to. Her dad never got the chance to even know she was going to exist and her mom ended it all before she could even develop a memory. Most of us get the chance to learn who we are by reflecting back on how our parents were/are. Peyton never got that chance which makes her journey both difficult and interesting. She finds herself making many of her parents' mistakes but it's harder for her to deal with them because she has no idea her parents already went through it all. 

Peyton begins to find herself when she sees herself where she is. The quote above is her reflecting on her past behavior and mistakes after it all blows up in her face. This should sound familiar to most of us. We tend to find ourselves while we're attempting to start over after something blew up in our faces. It's almost like the wreck and disaster is what we needed to see clearly. While we're under water we finally make the decision to breathe. Peyton is no different. 

If you're currently in a situation that seems impossible, almost like you're drowning, I dare you to breathe. Open your lungs and learn something new; how to start over and find yourself in the process. Figure out what you learned and become the person you always wanted to be. Live like you're the person you want to be and soon you won't be acting anymore. We all make mistakes, we all have to learn when to drop our egos, we have to forgive ourselves along with others, we have to start over, and we have to find ourselves all over again. While you're becoming someone new you're going to get a lot of hate and judgment thrown at you but who cares? Well...judgment...that sounds like something I could talk about next week, doesn't it? Until then, keep on looking....

In the meantime listen to a song about finding yourself: