Thursday, February 26, 2015

RED (The Mini Book) Now Available!

It seems as if I'm releasing book after book but I promise this is the last one for a while...maybe. I decided to release RED (The Mini Book) so you all can add the character profiles, poems, and lessons/themes to your RED Tragedies collection. It's a compilation of the things I've posted on my blog but this time you can have it in one neatly packed (mini) book for only $6.00 for the paperback and $2.99 for the Kindle version.

If you're unsure about purchasing RED, you can check out the mini book for scenes from the full length novel and to get to know the characters better. The links are posted below:

A Tragic Heart (Volume 1)(Paperback & Kindle):  http://www.amazon.com/Tragic-Heart-S-Elle-Cameron/dp/1489591060/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1424986685&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=A+Tragic+Heart+paperback

RED (A Tragic Heart Volume 2)(Paperback. ): http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tragic-Heart-Elle-Cameron/dp/1940938503/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

RED (A Tragic Heart Volume 2)(Kindle): http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tragic-Heart-Book-2-ebook/dp/B00U2OSYCA/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

RED (The Mini Book)(Paperback): http://www.amazon.com/Red-Mini-S-Elle-Cameron/dp/1508595240/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424986820&sr=1-5&keywords=S.+Elle+Cameron

RED (The Mini Book)(Kindle): http://www.amazon.com/Red-Mini-Book-S-Cameron-ebook/dp/B00U1TO3M6/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Turn It Off (Intro & First Chapter)(A Tragic Heart Volume 3(Paperback & Kindle): http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Off-Intro-Chapter-Tragic/dp/1508591970/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

The Entire Series (So Far): http://www.amazon.com/S.-Elle-Cameron/e/B00FNI34X4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1





Monday, February 23, 2015

Turn It Off Available Now!

I know, I know! I just released RED but I thought it would be a great idea to release Turn It Off...well the intro and first chapter of the book at least. Turn It Off still has a while before it comes out (I still don't have a specific month or date) but it's never too early to give people a solid taste of what's to come. It's now available on Amazon for only $6.00 for paperback and $2.99 on Kindle. It's the unedited version of the book so pick up a copy and let me know what you think so far by leaving a review!

Turn It Off is the third installment to the RED Tragedies series (also known as A Tragic Heart series) so if you haven't yet, pick up your copy of A Tragic Heart (that's now only $2.99 on Kindle) and RED. Always remember to leave a review!

You can pick up a copy of Turn It Off here: http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Off-Intro-Chapter-Tragic/dp/1508591970/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424730528&sr=8-1&keywords=Turn+It+Off+S.+Elle+Cameron

The Kindle edition should go live shortly (give it a day or two). I'll keep you updated.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

RED IS NOW AVAILABLE!

After all of the blogging and promoting for RED it's finally here! The second part to A Tragic Heart is now on Amazon and here is the link: http://amzn.to/17xvcPy . I hope you all enjoy it and don't forget to leave a review! 

Thursday, February 12, 2015

RED (The Music Single)

YES! I've wanted to let this out for literally months now and I can finally say it! RED is the the first ever novel to have a music release to go along with it (just like movies and soundtracks). 

A very dear friend of mine was kind enough to write and record a song for the novel and it's AWESOME!!!!!!! It'll be available on iTunes eventually but for now take a listen on YouTube! 


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

No More Slut Shaming! (I Am That Girl Post)

Here is another post for I Am That Girl! This one focuses on women sticking together and not shaming each other regardless of what we think about someone else's decision. Take a look! 

Monday, February 9, 2015

Every Character Profile & Poem From RED!

Since RED is set to come out on Valentine's Day (5 MORE DAYS!), I've decided to make finding each character profile and poem from the character's POV easy. Remember that RED is the 2nd part to A Tragic Heart so catch up before the big release! Here is the pre-book to RED!


Full Name: Peyton Hayley Giordano

Birth Date: April 4, 2010

Gender: Female

Age During RED: 16-18 years old

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Red

Height: 5'6

Weight: 130 lbs

Relatives: Taylor Caldwell (Mother-Deceased). Peyton Giordano (Father-Deceased), Mason Taylor (Cousin), Adalyn Voyvodich-Taylor (Cousin-in-law), Jackson Caldwell (Uncle), Nick Taylor (cousin), Ryan Taylor (cousin), Lila Taylor (cousin)

Relationship Status: It's complicated....don't ask! 

Interests/Hobbies: Singing, Guitar, Piano, Songwriting

Positive Character Traits: She's compassionate although she rarely shows it. She has a strong attitude and stands up for herself. Peyton tends to lead her own life without caring what others think. She's extremely talented and smart.

Negative Character Traits: She self-sabotages frequently, she can be quick to anger, and she's a bit of a martyr at times. She's also impulsive.

Choice Quote from RED: "When we want something bad enough we tend to only look at the positive side of things. We ignore the negative because we don't want to go there."

That's all for now! If you want to learn more about Peyton, you can pick up your copy of RED when it is released in the Winter of 2015. For now, you can learn about some of the other characters in RED by reading part one to the novel, A Tragic Heart.

By the way, if Peyton were a song she would be The (After) Life of The Party by Fall Out Boy.

Battered and Shattered (A Poem From Peyton's POV + New Scene From RED)


Sitting on the hard, cold ground alone
Scared, battered and shattered
I don't know who I am
I have no one to call
And the night is black
I'm just scared, battered and shattered
They're asking me questions
That I don't have the answers to
Alone, battered and shattered
My tears do the talking for me
Words won't come out my throat
I'm alone, battered and shattered
I've made my mistakes
But do I deserve this?
 Confused, battered and shattered
My blood runs red
And my mind is running wild
I'm confused, battered and shattered 

"Tell me your name"
"Do you have any family?"
Just leave me battered and shattered
I've come this far on my own
No one to guide me
He left me battered and shattered
Here's the scene from RED, Battered and Shattered was inspired by. Hope you enjoy it and remember RED will be released this Valentine's Day!
I don’t recognize myself. It’s more than that bad. It’s horrific. I become speechless and let my tears do the talking for me. I want to let something out. I want words to come out of my mouth. Suddenly, I hear screaming, a female’s voice that echoes through the night. It takes me a while to figure out that it’s my own. I can’t believe he did this to me.
The police and ambulance arrive as Robyn tries her best to console me. This can’t be happening. This can’t be real. I must be dreaming. An officer and a paramedic run up to me and bombard me with questions that I can’t answer right then. The paramedic walks me over to the ambulance and sits me in the back of the truck. He shines a light on my face and gently touches it.
“The most we can do is treat these wounds. You have a contusion on the upper left corner of your face but you’ll heal. Let’s get you to the hospital. You’ll need X-rays and the police can take your report there. Do you have anyone we can call?”
I nod my head yes and he calls the police officer over to the truck. They all look so sympathetic. I wonder if they all have daughters and are imagining what if this happened to them. I’m afraid to witness what Mason would do.
“I’m going to need a phone number, your mom or dad?” the officer says trying not to look too concerned.
“I don’t have a mom or a dad, just cousins.” I speak lowly in a monotone voice.
“I’m going to need someone’s number,” he replies.
“I tried to call Adalyn. She’s my cousin’s wife but she didn’t pick up.”
“What about your cousin?” he asks now seeming concerned.
“He’s in California on business.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what. Give me both of their numbers and I’ll try my best to contact them.”
I give the officer all of my information and he says he’ll follow me to the hospital to get the report after I’ve been fully examined. I lie back on the stretcher as the ambulance drives away from the dark and lonely street that has drops of my soul scattered on it.
I try to close my eyes but every time I do I see the image of Marcus. I’m not a crier but lately my emotions seem to be taking control of me. The ride is silent and I’ve never felt so alone in my life. How do I fix this? How do I walk into school? What will Mason and Adalyn think? God, I don’t want all of these answers at one time because that means there will be problems to go along with it.
*************************************************

Young Mason 
Mason as he would appear in RED 

Full Name: Mason Dale Taylor

Birth Date: May 4, 1992

Gender: Male

Age During RED: 34-36 years old

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Black 

Height: 6'1 

Weight: 202 lbs

Relatives: Adalyn Voyvodich-Taylor (Wife), Jean Taylor (Mother), Brian Taylor (Father), Peyton Hale Giordano (Cousin-Deceased), Cathleen Taylor-Giordano (Aunt-Deceased), Peyton Hayley Giordano (Cousin/Adopted Daughter), Taylor Caldwell (Ex-Wife-Deceased), Jackson Caldwell (Ex-Brother-in-law), Lila Taylor (Daughter), Nick Taylor (Son), Ryan Taylor (Son)

Relationship Status: Married 

Interests/Hobbies: Writing & Basketball

Positive Character Traits: Mason is very loving and accepting. He doesn't like to give up on people he truly cares about and he would die for the ones he love. He is full of compassion and protects his family at all costs.

Negative Character Traits: He can be stubborn at times and he has a bit of a short fuse. There are times he is quick to anger and he can be sarcastic at times. 

Choice Quote from RED: "In reality, I had no idea what I was waiting for but I just knew that the time wasn't right."

And that's the end of Mason's character profile. I hope you all feel a little closer to him but if not make sure you check out RED when it is released this Winter. For those of you who have no idea who Mason is, you can still check out A Tragic Heart before RED is released to get to know about him and his past. Until next time...

By the way, if Mason was a song he would be "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot.

Dreaming Alive (A Poem From Mason's POV)-New Scene From RED Included!

Last night I dreamed of you while I was awake
And I prayed to the Lord my soul He'll take
Just so I can be back with you
Do you know what it's like to dream while alive?
To see the damning images deep inside your mind?
But it was worth it because I was with you 

The sparks in your eyes, they were still there
But the fire spread and you disappeared
I'll burn all over again just for you

My eyes are wide open and my heart has been closed
I can't love another because you're all that I know
And I wouldn't have it any other way because of you

I tasted your mouth and you tasted mine
I think we forgot all about the time
But life always worked that way with you

Last night I dreamed while I was alive
But in reality you were on the other side
What I would give for you!

Because last night that dream brought me alive...
Here is the scene from RED, Dreaming Alive was inspired from. It's a scene where Mason dreams of his lost love Taylor (from A Tragic Heart).
 ***
Every time I try to close my eyes, I see her. I keep trying to think of something new, but she won’t get out of my head. Sixteen years and she still haunts me.


I wake up to the smell of breakfast so I quickly get up and brush my teeth. I practically rush down the stairs before something stops me in my tracks.
“Hey, make sure your dad is up. I know how much he hates having to heat up food,” I hear her voice say from the kitchen.
I’m afraid to walk in and be disappointed. It couldn’t be. Is it all a dream? Did it never happen? For a second I feel relieved but then realize that when I open the kitchen door it wouldn’t be her.
I stand in front of the kitchen door for a while before pushing it open. I close my eyes and say a short prayer before viewing what’s in front of me.
“Never mind!” she calls out. “You’re right on time,” she says with a beautiful smile. The smile that’s been imprinted in my mind since the first day we met.
“The smell woke me up,” I say relieved that she’s standing there in front of me again. “Is this real?” I ask her a little confused.
“Last time I checked,” she sounds just as confused as I feel.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” I say touching her beautiful face.
“I won’t. We were young before, it’s different now. I love you.”
“I love you too. I always have and always will.”
She leans in and kisses me passionately. We almost get carried away but the smoke that fills the air reminds us that she’s cooking.
“SHIT!” I yell opening the kitchen window and turning the fan above the stove on.
She laughs a little and tells me to watch my mouth. I stare at her for a long time before she acknowledges it.
“What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?” she asks never wiping that smile off of her face.
“I just had this terrible dream,” I say unable to take my eyes off of her.
“What was it about?”
“I don’t want to bring it up again, but I dreamed that after Peyton died you fell into this deep depression and…” it’s hard for me to say it even though I know that it never happened, “you asked me to watch Peyton for a while, and you never came back. You left me in the worst way possible. I found you on your apartment floor covered in blood. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”
She doesn’t say a word. She just looks at me with glossy eyes as if she’s trying to hold back tears.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to bring it up again,” I say before reaching out to touch her.
She moves away from me and tears fall from her eyes.
“If I knew you loved me this much I would’ve never done it. I regret it every day,” she says through her tears.
I don’t understand.
“I’m confused, what are you talking about?” I ask still trying to move closer to her.
“I would have given you a second chance. You deserved it. I ruined her. I ruined everything! You’re doing such a great job, Mason. It’s not your fault. You’re not the reason why she’s so angry. It’s all my fault! I just wanted to see him again but now I’m stuck!”
She moves back towards the stove and I yell for her to move out of the way. The stove catches fire without good explanation and quickly spreads across the kitchen forming a barrier between us. I try grabbing her to pull her with me but I can’t get to her.
“Don’t leave me!” I yell back at her while reaching for her hand. “Please! Don’t leave me again!”
I jump out of my sleep more startled than I’ve ever been. I look over at the clock and see it reads 5:45 am. I quickly get up and walk to Peyton’s room. She still isn’t home. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end and I can’t relax. I walk into the den on the top floor and try to relax by watching some TV. I can’t get that dream out of my head. I say a short prayer and whisper to myself, “Baby, wherever you are, I hope you’re safe and happy.”
*************************************************************
 
Full Name: Adalyn Voyvodich-Taylor

Birth Date: November 23, 1992

Gender: Female

Age During RED: 34-36 years old 

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Blonde

Height: 5'7

Weight: 130 lbs

Relatives: Mason Taylor (Husband), Lynn Voyvodich (Mother), Michael Voyvodich Sr. (Father), Michael Voyvodich Jr. (Brother), Lila Taylor (Daughter), Ryan Taylor (Son), Nick Taylor (Son), Peyton Giordano (Adopted Daughter), Jean Taylor (Mother-in-law), Brian Taylor (Father-in-law)

Relationship Status: Married

Interests/Hobbies: Bass Guitar (Any guitar, really), Piano, Songwriting, Singing, Producing Music

Positive Character Traits: Adalyn is caring and helpful. She's the person who is by your side through whatever you go through. She's the exact opposite of judgmental and she's easy to talk to. Adalyn can also be outspoken when needed. She's the friend everyone wants.

Negative Character Traits: She can hold feelings/emotions inside for far too long causing her to react in questionable ways. 

Choice Quote from RED: "I guess that's the difference between men and women. No matter whether we're wrong or right, we're willing to fight for what we have."

Welp! That's it for now. I hope you all feel like you know Adalyn just a little better than before. I look forward to all of you getting to know her more when RED comes out this Winter. The editing process is going great and I can't wait to share it all with you guys! To learn more about Adalyn in the meantime you can pick up your copy of A Tragic Heart by clicking the link. You still have time to catch up before RED is released. 

By the way, if Adalyn was a song she would be "Break Free" by Ariana Grande.

Mistakes (A Poem From Adalyn's POV + New Scene From RED)

Mistakes are lessons
Mistakes are certain
But it's always ugly revealing what's behind the curtain
He wasn't ready for it
Neither was I
But I caused it and left us to die
Mistakes are normal
Mistakes cause heartache
But I didn't mean for his heart to break
He was never there
And I was lonely
In my heart, he's my one and only
I did something that I can't take back
 There's no way of erasing the facts
But where's forgiveness when you need it?
I wait by the phone and I sit and sit

Mistakes are things we all must make
Mistakes are the things that raises the stakes
They test you when things are low
They make sure things are never the same
Mistakes cause you to remember you're the one to blame

I'm tired of pointing fingers
I just want us to be us again
But the trials from my mistake won't ever end
You left me all alone
And I may deserve it
But let's not act like you were perfect

You dreamed about her while you were awake
I was second best and that's what I can't take
You put me last when I should've been first
You buried me with her in the dirt

Now I'm done with pointing fingers
I just want to make you see
That I wasn't the only one who did something ugly
You raised her from the dead
While I was alive
So I made a mistake...that I can't deny

Here's the scene from RED that inspired Mistakes. Remember RED will be out this Valentine's Day.

“Adalyn, what’s going on?” he says frantically.
“I don’t know what happened but Lila said-”  I began to speak in my weak voice before he interrupts.
“Where were you when this happened? Why don’t you know what happened?” He raises his voice.
“Um, Mason I know you’re upset but you may want to tone it down a little,” Peyton warns as she touches his shoulder.
He takes a deep breath and I decide it’s a safe time to speak.
“Look Mason, I know that you’re upset and you have so many reasons to be right now. It was a lapse in judgment on my part and-”
“Yeah, Adalyn you’ve been having a lot of those lately, haven’t you?” he snaps at me.
I look at Peyton whose face tells me how sorry she is for everything. I don’t know what to say to him. Everything I say to him is going to be wrong.
“I’ll stay here just in case someone comes out with news on Ryan. I’ll let the nurse know that I’m here with you guys. You two should head outside and talk this out,” she offers in the kindest way possible.
Mason seems hesitant about her suggestion but eventually obliges. I follow behind him like a lost puppy and can’t help but think how much I’ve missed him.
“Now will you let me explain?” I ask the moment we reached outside the hospital’s entrance.
“Go ahead,” he responds coldly.
“I let the kids play outside for a while so I could get a few things together around the house. I had no one there to watch them so I told Lila to look out for her brothers being that she’s the oldest. Everything was fine. After I finished cleaning up and making sure everything was in order I looked at the time and saw that it was time for them to eat lunch. Before I went to the kitchen I went to the backyard to check on them and told them that it was time for them to come inside. I only left for a few minutes. I honestly don’t know what happened in that short time span but I heard screaming from the kitchen so I ran as fast as I could and-” I try to hold back my tears but I’m not strong enough.
My words strangle me causing my voice to become inaudible. I swallow harshly and struggle to finish my sentence. Mason shows no signs of sympathy.
“That’s when I saw it. Ryan was floating face down in the pool. I immediately pulled him out and started CPR. Lila said she wasn’t paying attention and he and Nick were running around the pool. Nick said they wanted to see who could make the biggest splash by diving in and Ryan went first. Nick said it took him a while to come up and when he did he wasn’t moving. They know they can’t swim, I just don’t understand why they would do something like this,” I finish while wiping my tears away from my eyes.
“I know why. Because they’re kids Adalyn! That’s why you should be watching them at all times! Why would you let them play outside by themselves? Especially the backyard! You know we never let them back there alone! How could you be so God damn stupid and careless?”
“You know what, Mason? Maybe if I had some help this wouldn’t have happened! Maybe if you’d come home sometime I wouldn’t have to deal with things like this! I made a mistake and I’m so sorry! It won’t happen again!” I shout back.
“You’re damn right it won’t happen again Adalyn because I’m getting custody of my children! I didn’t want life to change for them too drastically but this stunt that you pulled leaves me no choice at all. I’m calling my lawyer first thing in the morning!”
Something comes over me. I’m not sure what it is but it takes over my entire body. I’ve never felt anger rise inside of me so quickly. He wants to challenge me for my children. This is what we’ve come to.
I draw my hand back and smack him harder than I thought I could. The left side of his face turns red in an instant. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel sorry.
“What the fuck?!” he shouts loud enough for the entire parking lot to hear.
“If you think that you’re going to take my children away from me and I won’t fight you, you have another thing coming to you, Mason! I made one mistake by cheating on you but you don’t get to take it out on them! What happened today could have happened if either one of us was watching them. Don’t try to make me sound like a bad parent when I was the one who practically raised them while you were always away working somewhere or obsessing over your dead ex-wife!” I state pointing my index finger at him as if I’m reprimanding a child.
“You have no right to talk to me this way, Adalyn,” he says in a much deeper tone.
Mason can be scary when he’s angry but I don’t let it bother me. I have to show him that I’m capable of being stronger than him.
“You’re an asshole, Mason! You want to know why I’ve been so side tracked lately? It’s because of you. It’s because you won’t talk to me or even look at me! It’s because you’re not even man enough to confront what happened between us. Instead you want to run away as if that’s going to fix things. Well it’s not! You ran away from Taylor, you ran away from Peyton, and now you’re running away from your family. Stop running and learn to deal with the cards given to you! Whether you like it or not you need to come back home so we can settle things like adults. You can keep your new fancy condo just in case you decide we can’t make it. I really don’t give a damn about the decisions you make anymore, Mason, but at least respect your family enough to decide together. You may not want me right now and it’s completely okay with me because at this moment I’m not sure if I want to be with you either!”
Before he can speak another word Peyton comes out to tell us that the doctor would like to see us. I don’t wait for Mason to make a move. Instead I quickly walk back into the entrance of the hospital ignoring everything else around me. Mason can rot in hell for all I care. He’s not going to get away with trying to take my babies away from me. They are all I have left.
********************************************************************


Full Name: Jackson Gabriel Caldwell

Birth Date: January 19, 1990

Gender: Male

Age During RED: 36-38 years old

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black/Dark Brown

Height: 5'11

Weight: 168 lbs

Relatives: Taylor Caldwell (sister-deceased), Henry Caldwell (Father), Eva Caldwell (Mother), Kristen Caldwell (sister), Tyler Caldwell (brother-deceased), Mason Taylor (ex-brother in law), Peyton Hale Giordano (brother in law-deceased), Peyton Hayley Giordano (niece), Grayson Caldwell (son), Charli Caldwell (daughter)

Relationship Status: Single/Divorced

Interests/Hobbies: Singing, Guitar, Piano, Playing on stage with his band, Songwriting, Spending time with his family, Women, Recreational use of herbs (occasionally) 

Positive Character Traits: He's loving and would go to new heights to protect the ones he love. Jackson is the cool uncle/brother that everyone wants. He's very laid back and hates confrontation but he will fight if it comes to that. Jackson is/was Taylor's guardian angel on earth. 

Negative Character Traits: Sometimes he can be "too cool" and not make the right decisions. For example, there are times he was/is too lenient on his sister and niece. 

Choice Quote From RED: "Stop crying, forget your mistakes, and move on!"

So that's it for Jackson! For those of you who are familiar with him I hope this got you a little more excited to read about him in RED. For those of you who didn't know him until now, I hope you feel like you just met Jack for the first time. RED will be out this Winter (I get the edited manuscript back this week! Yay!) which means there is still time to catch up with A Tragic Heart. It's the first part to the RED Tragedies series, with RED being the second. Thanks for stopping by and getting to know the characters in my head. :-)

By the way, if Jackson was a song he'd be "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons!

Reminisce (A Poem From Jackson's POV + New Scene From RED)


In my mind I can see your face so clearly
The years went by but it all still feels the same
I can live an eternity & I'll still miss you severely 
Nothing can replace you, none of my fortune and fame
I gasp for air because you're not here
It's like your memory chokes me until I can't breathe
Losing you was always my biggest fear
Your memory haunts me, I can barely speak
I never thought it would all end like this
You, untouchable, while I suffer in silence
Living everyday is a hit or miss
There's an inner battle, I suffer the violence
Now I sit back and reminisce
Nostalgia sends me into a dark place
I'm so sorry you felt you had to go out like this 
I would give it all just to see your face

And she's dying here without you
But I don't want to place blame
But there's nothing I can do
Nothing was ever the same

I can't breathe without you but I have no choice...


Here's the scene from RED that inspired Reminisce. It's Jackson's inner monologue after he holds a conversation with Peyton. RED is set to be released this Valentine's Day (February 14, 2015)! Any Peyton that is in bold letters refers to the Peyton from A Tragic Heart.



My time with Peyton results in me needing some alone time anyway. My stomach is in knots and there is a huge lump in my throat. I head to my room and lock the door. I close my eyes and exhale trying to make the pain go away but it’s stubborn. It wants to hang around for a little while longer.
Almost seventeen years later and the pain is still as arresting as it was the day I found out. That day when Mason called me to tell me that he found Taylor in a pool of her own blood with a giant knife sticking out of her chest. I didn’t want to believe that she took her own life, as it would have been easier to know that someone else was to blame. I hated blaming my own sister for her death.
I remember it so clearly. I couldn’t speak, my mouth was dry and the lump in my throat prevented me from forming words. This feeling that I am feeling right now is all too familiar.
My brain shut down on me. Taylor was my best friend and to hear Mason tell me that she was no longer with me was my biggest fear. I never imagined a world without Taylor. I’ve tried to several times before but the thoughts were in flashes. I never took the time to ponder how I would go on without her because I knew it would hurt too much.
I was angry. Why wouldn’t she call me like she normally did? Why didn’t she think of me? If she wasn’t going to stay for her baby girl, why not stay for me?
Matt, my bass guitarist had to pull me together. I had a show that night and it was too late to cancel. I had to go on stage in front of thousands of people and try my best to smile. I broke down during every break throughout the set. I guess that moment made me a stronger person because nothing could stop me from performing now. Performing through that circumstance taught me how to play through anything with a smile on my face.
Taylor was too young to take on the responsibilities she placed before herself. She should have enjoyed life as a teenager but I could understand why it was so difficult for her. So many unfortunate things happened to her before she reached her fifteenth birthday. I was her only confidant and when I left to tour after high school, she felt alone. Part of me blamed myself for her problems but I knew I had to live my life too. I just wished that there was something else I could have done. I did my best to stay in contact with her but some days were harder than others. She never understood just how much I loved her. Words weren’t enough.
I would take my own life just to save hers if I had a choice. At the funeral I could barely stand to look at her lying there. I wanted to believe that she was only sleeping and it was some sort of sick joke but my gut reminded me that it was all real. The truth is I almost didn’t show up. Mason forced me to come. I called him the day of the service to tell him that I wasn’t going. Ten minutes later he was at my doorstep forcing me to get ready. He told me that I’d regret it later.
I told him that the thought alone was killing me and I wouldn’t be able to take seeing her in that state. It didn’t make sense to me that I’d never see my little sister again. It didn’t make sense that I’d never hear her voice calling me ever again or that she no longer existed. It didn’t make sense to me that she would take her own life…although it made perfect sense to me.
She loved Peyton more than her own life. She loved him so much that she would choose selfishness over thinking about the ones who still loved her that were here on earth. She couldn’t have thought about what it would have done to me. She mentioned me in her suicide note but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t tell me to stay strong and that she loved me if she was going to do something so drastic. She didn’t understand and every day I ask God to show her mercy because she didn’t know what she was doing. She wasn’t in her right mind. I ask Him every day to punish me rather than her. I deserve it more than she does. She was good throughout her lifetime. She made one irreversible mistake…just one. I plead all the time for Him to go easy on her. She needed grace more than anyone else I’ve ever come in contact with.
Peyton died in a tragic way. No one could have predicted it and everyone asked “why him?” He was only seventeen and had so much life ahead of him. He was supposed to be right next to me selling out arenas. The kid had undeniable talent that was out of this world. He obviously passed it onto his daughter. I think she’s more like him than Taylor. She has his hair and eyes…it’s almost scary. Anyone who knew Peyton could tell that she was all him. She has some of Taylor’s attitude and slight traits in her personality but her nature was every bit of her dad’s.
Her rebellious temperament, her musical ability, her wild ways are all Peyton. He slowed down a lot after meeting Taylor. In many ways she saved him too. Taylor always credited Peyton for her happiness but he claimed that he was a changed man because of her. He gave up his heavy drinking, drug use, partying and women just for her. He told me all about his past life before Taylor while we were on tour. In fact, his past life was eerily similar to his daughter’s present life.
We became really good friends and I looked forward to having him as a brother-in-law. I already saw him as the brother I never had. Damn, Peyton if you never left, Taylor would still be here and if Taylor was still here your daughter would be okay.
There’s no time to play the blaming game. All is how it is and there’s no changing that. We have to learn how to deal with the present without falling down…and if we fall we need to learn how to pick ourselves up. If not for ourselves, for someone who cares about us. I wish Taylor would have known that. I wish I would have told her that the day I visited her a little after Peyton was born. Maybe those words could have saved her life. She always thought highly of my opinions and advice.
The pain that I’m feeling isn’t showing any signs of letting up anytime soon. My thoughts race a 
million miles per hour leaving me sitting at the edge of my bed with tears falling from my eyes. And the pain never goes away...
 
********************************************************************



Ronan Connolly
Full Name: Ronan James Connolly
Birth Date: February 26, 2010
Gender: Male
Age During RED: 16-19 years old

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Dirty Blonde
Height: 6'0
Weight: 185 lbs
Relatives: Jane Connolly (Mother) & Paul Connolly (Father)
Relationship Status: Completely in love and devoted to Peyton Hayley Giordano (in other words, TAKEN)
Interests/Hobbies: Photography & Art
Positive Character Traits: Ronan is an extremely compassionate and forgiving person. He doesn't hold grudges and he's probably one of the sweetest guys you'll ever come to meet. He has a great swagger about him and seems a little tough on the outside but he's completely soft and loving on the inside. He's a fantastic boyfriend/partner and believes in honesty. Basically, his parents did a great job raising him. Not to mention, he was born and raised in Ireland giving him a hot Irish accent to go with all of these things. 
Negative Character Traits: When it comes to his girlfriend he can be a bit of a pushover but that's probably because he's completely mesmerized by her. He can be blind to her actions at times. 
Choice Quote from RED: "She was temptation itself but nothing about her seemed sinful. It was all heavenly."
That's all for this month! Next month I'll have another character to introduce to you all. He's a bit of a rebel who shakes things up in the story. Without him, RED wouldn't be complete. I can't wait for you all to meet him, but for now I hope you all feel a little closer to Ronan. There will be a lot more of him in RED Remember, RED is the second part to A Tragic Heart and the second book in my RED TRAGEDIES series. You still have time to catch up before the release of RED!

By the way, if Ronan was a song he'd be "Simonize" by Pete Yorn.
  

My Defeat (A Poem From Ronan's POV + New Scene From RED)

New week, new poem! This one is coming from Ronan's POV and it's a bit of a love poem. Ronan is Peyton's love interest in the novel but their relationship is nothing short of rocky and passionate. There's so much love there but there's also a lot to worry about. RED will be out on Valentine's Day and you can check out the final cover for it here (just click on the word "here"). For now check out My Defeat and if you missed last week's you can view it here.

Today I saw the clearest view
The best part of it was looking at you
You're someone I could love forever
But that's only if you give us a chance to be together
We can take it slow if you'd like
Because I know how much you love to put up a fight
That's one of the many things I love about you
It's never easy, no matter what I do
And you're my favorite song on repeat
You're my demise, my defeat
There was just something about the way you smile
The way your green eyes made it all worth while
There's so much love yet so much doubt
Your eyes wander and I can't figure you out
Yet I want to love you for an eternity
I say that with all certainty 
You're the photograph I stare at all day
No matter what you do I won't have it any other way
I can be so much more than the others
I want to be so much more than your lover
The way you hurt me feels so good
I guess I wouldn't change it if I could
So I'll let you be my defeat, my demise
Just say you love me while looking me in the eyes
Here's the scene from RED that inspired My Defeat. I hope you all enjoy it and remember to pick up your copy of RED on Valentine's Day!
I laugh to myself when Peyton purposely interrupts mine and Tara’s conversation. She can pretend she doesn’t have feelings for me but it’s so obvious that she does. I’ve never been a guy with a huge ego but I have enough confidence to know that I can have almost any girl in this school. They’ve been trying since day one and I have been successfully ignoring them all just for her.
The moment I see the girl with hair as red as communism, and eyes greener than the most well-watered grass, I know what I want. I’ve heard all of the rumors and know about all of the guys but her past doesn’t mean a thing to me. She’s beautiful and confident and I just want her to share it all with me.
It amazes me how she can pretend that I’m invisible to her. She’s been my best friend for the past few weeks and every day I fall more in love with her.
He doesn’t deserve her. Marcus is an asshole and I know that she knows this. She says he treats her well but I know she notices how he talks about other girls and how he stares at them while she’s with him. She deserves so much better.
I wish she’d just let me want her and love her the way I do in my mind. It breaks my heart slowly every day that I have to wait for her, but if waiting is what it takes, then that’s what I’ll do. I wish I could tell her how beautiful I think she is and how no photograph I’ve ever taken can measure up to her beauty. What I would give to photograph her every day for the rest of my life.
“What are you doing tonight?” I whisper, leaning closer to her.
I love the view that’s right next to me. It’s more beautiful than any landscape in the rural parts of Ireland. I swear a window’s frame or glass has never seen anything so flawless.
“Date with Marcus,” she answers after taking a quick glance at me.
“What about tomorrow?”
“I don’t know.”
“Movies at my place? It’s awfully lonely in that big house by myself. I know you’d hate yourself if I got so depressed I drove myself insane.”
She smiles and my heart shatters inside of my chest.
“Sure, tomorrow at your place is fine. Now let me pay attention, at least one of us would have to know what we’re doing,” she whispers while looking at me from the corner of her eyes.
If only she knew.
*******************************************************

Alex Kinsley
Full Name: Alex Kinsley
Birth Date: June 28, 2002
Gender: Male
Age During RED: 24-26
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Jet Black
Height: 5'10
Weight: 165 lbs
Relatives: Unknown as a result of Alex being disowned by his family.
Relationship Status: Kind of single, always ready to mingle!
Interests/Hobbies: Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll! He's also the drummer in a famous band
Positive Character Traits: He's a great lover and an amazing drummer/songwriter. 
Negative Character Traits: He's not a one woman kind of guy. He doesn't know how to love even when he feels it. Alex isn't known for making the best decisions and he's pretty stubborn. He likes to party and his reputation isn't the greatest in the tabloids...yet women love him!
Choice Quote From RED: "We have opened Pandora's Box and all of the sin of the world exploded within us...I've never felt so alive."
That's all for this month! Alex is a really interesting character that you will both love and really hate. He brings the book on a lot of roller coaster rides and I can't wait for you all to get to know him better. For now, I hope you all have a better idea of who he is. Remember, RED is the second part to A Tragic Heart and the second book in my RED TRAGEDIES series. You still have time to catch up before the release of RED!
By the way, if Alex was a song he'd be "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" by Marilyn Manson. 

Lust You (A Poem From Alex's POV + New Scene From RED)

I'm one second away from tearing off your clothes
Even though I know much better than this
It's the way your eyes look, the way your hair flows
I want to add you to my list
Isn't it okay if you act older than your age?
I mean, who would know if you don't tell?
Let's give a performance in my room, my bed will be the stage
 I'll buy whatever it is you're willing to sell

And I know this is supposed to be wrong
But I bite my lip and stare anyway
And to think it all started with a simple song
I think today just may be the day

That you forget about him
And let me win
I can't wait to hear the noise you make when I go in
God, this feels too good to be a sin

But you're more to me than just a body and lips
Although, I will admit I love the feel of your hips
When I'm holding you while you tighten your grip
I swear to God you take me on the best trip

I might've gone insane
Because this isn't right
But it's all pleasure, no pain
So I won't even fight

Well, well, well, there's your first taste of Alex Kinsley! Hope you enjoyed what you read. Here's the scene from RED that inspired this little piece. Only a few more weeks until RED's Valentine's Day release!
Alex: Control

It was a stupid decision but I make it anyway. Lust took over and I did something that I thought I could never do. I keep telling myself we’re not even a full eight years apart but it doesn’t make me feel any better. She’s not even eighteen. I knew we’d go this far I just pictured it happening a year from now. She tried so hard to ignore me the entire time we were together and that only made me want her more.
It was the song. Hearing her voice sing lyrics that hit so close to home didn’t help. It’s not just lust, I actually like her but I won’t be able to show it to anyone. I’m not worried too much about her boyfriend because they’re still young. They’re bound to break up eventually, right?
We didn’t speak for the entire car ride. She didn’t even say that she’ll see me later. I sit in my studio alone and roll a joint. God knows I need one. I play her track again and close my eyes as I inhale. I picture everything that happened in full detail from beginning to end. I can’t wait to see her again.
*********************************************************



Full Name: Robyn Victoria West

Birth Date: July 20, 2010

Gender: Female

Age During RED: 16-18 years old

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Height: 5'8

Weight: 125 lbs

Relatives: Marsha West (Mother), Garrett West (Father), Jeffrey West (Brother)

Relationship Status: Single/Too busy having a good time to be tied down

Interest/Hobbies: Partying, Hanging out with friends, Modeling

Positive Character Traits: Robyn is as loyal as loyal can get. She sticks by her friends and loved ones through any circumstance and never judges anyone. She's easy to talk to and would drop whatever she's doing at the drop of a dime for someone she cares about. Not only is she loyal but she's also giving.

Negative Character Traits: Sometimes she parties too hard but she's sure to grow out of it. She's young, let her have her fun!

Choice Quote From RED:  "Things may not go back to the way they were immediately, but I think eventually they will. It's just going to take some time..."

That's all I have for Robyn! Although she's a very minor character I feel she still deserves a character profile. Robyn is a beautiful person inside and out and I think we all can learn a thing or two from her. Forget her partying ways; she's someone we all should strive to be more like. As a reminder, RED comes out this Valentine's Day (February 14th) and is the second part to A Tragic Heart (which by the way will have a new cover for its re-release) so I strongly urge you all to catch up. Until next time...

By the way, if Robyn was a song she'd be Right Here by Jhene Aiko!
*************************************************************
Full Name: David Gregory Adams
Birthdate: April 8, 2002
Gender: Male
Age During RED: 24-26 years old
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'9
Weight: 154 lbs
Relatives: Mary Adams (Mother), Benjamin Adams (Father), Christina Adams (Sister), Jimi Adams (Brother)
Relationship Status: Single and free to roam
Interests/Hobbies: Music, Singing, Songwriting, Guitar. He's the lead singer of the band he's in with Alex Kinsley.
Positive Character Traits: He's caring and protective, especially when it comes to Alex. Alex is like a brother to him so he's willing to go the distance for him. He looks out for the ones he love and is a pretty loyal person.
Negative Character Traits: He can jump to conclusions often and sometimes may be quick to walk away. 
Choice Quote From RED: "Maybe someday there'll be some miracle and this will all be forgiven but for now it's too heavy and new."

...And that's all folks! Remember that RED will be available on Valentine's Day and that it is the second part to A Tragic Heart. It's pretty important you know the basis of the story before you begin to read it. With that said, you can find A Tragic Heart by clicking on the link. It's available on both Kindle and paperback. Hope you all enjoyed these character profiles and poems from their POVs. Hopefully you all feel like you know them a little better. 

By the way, if David was a song he'd be "Bold As Love" by Jimi Hendrix