Listen to "I Hope You Find It" by Miley Cyrus on repeat while reading:
Ronan: It’s Always Her…
I’m lying next to a girl I barely even know. I shot her a few times for the cover of various popular magazines but that’s about it. Lately this has been my life. Girls come and go because none of them can match my first love. She happened eight years ago and she remains a friend but I can’t help but think that she’s my true one.
We ended when we were seventeen years old after a huge scandal broke loose that she was sleeping with a famous rockstar, Alex Kinsley who was eight years her senior. He got booted from his band and his career took a beating all before she found him dead from a drug overdose in his multimillion dollar home. What did she get out of it? A hot music career that looks like it won’t sink anytime soon.
Being that we decided to pick up our friendship after Alex’s death, I became her go to photographer. She uses me for everything from album covers, appearances to magazine shootings; the only thing she won’t use me for is love. Even after all the wrong she’s done and the pain she’s caused me, inside I still love her. That will never change but for some reason I fight the feeling.
“What are you thinking about?” Adriana asks as she runs her fingers through my hair. She’s the model I photographed today for the next issue of Vogue. I invited her out for drinks and the rest you can come up with yourself.
“Nothing really. Just how beautiful those photos came out. You’re gorgeous,” I lie rolling onto my side and kissing her neck. She laughs and buys into the lie I just told. I couldn’t tell her that I was really thinking about my ex from high school who I still hang with every once in a while.
“How come a nice and hot guy like you don’t have a steady girlfriend? What’s wrong with you, huh?” she asks playfully. “Are you really a serial killer or something?”
“Yeah, that’s totally it,” I reply with a smile. “Seriously, though, I have no idea. I guess I just haven’t met the right girl.”
Truth is I have met the right girl, our happiness is just stuck in the past somewhere frozen in time. I remember when she asked for me back after Alex died and her life was getting back together. I declined and told her I could never go there with her again. Now I’m not so sure if that was the right decision.
We remained good friends and talk about anything we feel the need to. I’ve witness a few guys come and go out of her life and she had a share of heartbreaks after Alex but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. Truth is I’m not so sure she ever got over me either. The good news is she’s more stable than she was when we got together.
Peyton was a broken a girl. She had no parents and was raised by her dad’s closest cousin, his wife and her uncle. Her father died in a car accident when he was only 17 and her mom commit suicide shortly after because of it. Basically, she never had a fair chance. When we got together I thought I’d be the one to fix her and I did for a while…but I wasn’t enough. Peyton always aimed for something a little more risky.
She took everything from me. My virginity, my heart, my ability to love another; it’s all gone because of her.
“I’m going to jump in the shower for a while…you’re welcomed to join me,” Adriana says with a smirk before climbing out of bed.
I told her I’m okay for now as she closed the bathroom door behind her. I picked up my phone from the night stand next to me and saw I had a new text message.
“I have this really cool idea for a photoshoot. Call me so we can talk about it.”
Thinking of the devil. Of course I would call her. In fact, I couldn’t wait to hear her voice. I replied to her text saying, “Busy right now but I’ll contact you later. Maybe we can talk about it over dinner?”
For some reason I felt nervous, sort of like I was asking her out on a date. She immediately texts me back telling me that dinner is okay and tomorrow night would be good for her. I smile to myself and put my phone down. I can’t wait to see her again. It’s been months since we’ve last spoke in person.
I get out of bed and decide to join Adriana in the shower. It wouldn’t be a good idea to be hung up on Peyton for the rest of the night when I had a beautiful model in my shower. Before I head in the bathroom I hear my phone go off again like I had another message. I double back and check it only to see a message from Peyton.
“Can’t wait to see you. Feels like it’s been ages. Maybe we can hang a little more this week since I’m in town for a while…you know, just us old friends and a lot of catching up?”
Of course I agree to it. Here we go again…
To be continued…
Don't forget to pick up your copy of RED and the rest of the series here: http://www.amazon.com/S.-Elle-Cameron/e/B00FNI34X4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1