Split Your Heart, Not Your Tongue

I slipped up again...and I thought I was clean It's not an addiction, it's just a dirty habit It keeps me holding on night after night Because if you give up, you get what you get So I use it to feel, but I swear I'm clean... It's not an addiction, it's just something I do I love to go numb because it's better than the sting  I like to pretend everything's not crumbling around me And I tell myself to hold on to see what else life can bring Then I think to myself "what's the point in being clean?" It's the feeling that I don't want to be here anymore But all I really want is to be here Maybe I can take it if I bite down hard Gnashing my teeth sort of takes the pain away But then it comes back when I relax my jaw Now my nails are scratching the board and holding on for dear life And I just realized this poem doesn't have any form But I guess it doesn't matter because no one will read it anyway It...

This is a song that I wrote almost a year ago while I was sitting in my History of Rock Music class at SUNY Oneonta. To this day I think it's one of the most honest things I've ever written. Although times and feelings have changed since then, I felt like it was something still worth sharing. I thought of the title "Split Your Heart, Not Your Tongue" because I was tired of how we constantly hold our tongue because we're afraid of what others may think instead of pouring our hearts out honestly. Another title for this song could have been "Honesty". Why did you let her walk alone? How was she to know she wasn't on her own? No one ever told her that she was more than enough So she never even knew mattered Someone should've told her that it wasn't that bad Someone should've told her that's not all she had And if someone told her that she was beautiful Maybe she'd still be here Do you know how hard it is to feel ...